So much has happened to me over the last couple of months, that it is impossible to adequately describe the pruning that has taken place. The Lord has absolutely thrown everything at me all at once. At times I think that He is done and then something else is given to me to learn from, to grow from, to realize who I really am. It is exhausting and overwhelming. There have been times, even now as I write this, that I have thought I am not up to the task or that I cannot grow anymore but I can feel myself growing; I can feel myself getting taller. I know that more will come and although I feel some trepidation, I also feel myself wanting more. I want to grow however difficult and painful it might be. I want to be strengthened.
I have so many weaknesses and at times, my mind and body and soul seem to see only those. I feel no strength inside myself but the experiences I have had are making me feel more strengthened simply because I know the Lord wants me to grow; He wants me to become more and better; He wants me to become like Him.
I love Wichita Falls. I love having my own home, my own space, my own refuge and I love that my husband is doing what we both felt he was meant to do and was guided to do. This place will always hold a special place in my heart. I have had some very difficult times here. I have had difficult times before and the places we were at were blackened by them. However, I have never only seen the trials that have overwhelmed us here in Wichita Falls.
Sometimes, I think, that we are all blinded by our trials or our experiences and are never able to see beyond them to enjoy what we have here and now. I have definitely experienced that. However, I have not been blinded here and let me assure you, that there has been plenty to want to blind me. I think the beauty and strength that is found in our trials is when we are not blinded but can see the horizon above the storm. My experiences are no different than anyone else's and I know that we all desire to see that silver lining. Strength from the Lord comes when that silver lining meets our trials and become indistinguishable. The silver lining is the trial.
2 comments:
Amy, it is so comforting to read your words. I wish I could have a peek into your world the last 6 months. I can only imagine what you've been through. I think of you often and have done so especially recently. Whenever I moan about our transient life, I think of you and your positive attitude and willingness to go where the Lord needs you. sure love you. I would love to catch up with you one of these days. In the mean time, hang in there!
I just realized you had written something back in July! You can tell how often I actually read your blog :P Thanks for sharing this. It's nice to see that someone so seemingly perfect has trials too! You've been a great example to me, and I just hope I can keep my family together the way you do ;)
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